Managing Remote Conflict

Anytime two or more people are gathered together conflict has the potential to emerge. The workplace is no exception and it doesn’t matter if we are in-person or working remote. Resolving conflict is an important interpersonal skill that can reduce work-related stress and build a more psychologically safe environment for everyone. 

The lack of in-person meetings, in-office time, and other connection points means that we are all reliant on making sense of behavior in the virtual space. This has given rise to more miscommunication and misunderstandings. The lack of physical proximity means it is more difficult to connect and resolve challenges. 

So what do you do when you have conflict with a remote coworker?

1. Assume positive intent. Give your colleague the benefit of the doubt and err on the side of thinking the best about others.
2. Understand the context. As we become more fatigued with working from home and dealing with the stress that comes with managing family and work, it can be easy to lose sight of all the challenges each of us faces. Recognizing that you don’t understand the current situation of others can help you build more compassion. A behavior may have nothing at all to do with you.
3. Move conflict off of digital. When in doubt pick up the phone or schedule time for a video call. It is much easier to read visual cues than to decipher messages that may easily be misunderstood.
4. Seek common ground and resolution. Find what you and your colleague share in common – work or personal. Once you have established some level of collegiality or connection, you can more easily explore interpersonal challenges.  
5. Consider experiential differences. We each have different emotional cues and responses when interacting. Sometimes our reactions have less to do with others and more to do with our own backgrounds and upbringing. When in doubt about a cue, ask and open the dialogue.